Acid is not a monday night drug
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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