Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
love makes seman taste better
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
