I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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