I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
everyone is single if you try hard enough
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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