ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Randomize
