Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
He? As in you personified your dick?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
