I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
