Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
