I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
