Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
