All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
