i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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