I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
