I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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