you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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