Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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