the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Randomize
