New invention idea: vibrating tampons
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize