Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
