i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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