I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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