Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
