roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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