Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
