What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
