No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
