youre lurking in front of me
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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