Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize
