If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
