Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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