i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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