I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
