just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
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