We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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