We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
