I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
