just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
zippers are such a cool invention
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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