It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
