That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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