i came on her dog
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
