white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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