Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
