Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Randomize
