I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
