Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
