hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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