theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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