I'll bet she douches with gravy.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Randomize
