I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Randomize
