i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
