At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
