Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
