Swine flu. Run for my life!
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
There was a lot of him and a little penis
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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