I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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