It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
