ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I need a hoe opinion
go on
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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