I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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