addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
