You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
