mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
