It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Randomize
