I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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