I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
cat food counts as protein by the way
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize