I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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