Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Can Purell be used as lube?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
