Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
