I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize