totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
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