dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
