She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
