Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
