After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
