508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Small penises have feelings too.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize