and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize