I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
