I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
ok first of all what the fuck
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
